Thumbs Up / Thumbs Down: Week 14

March 31st, 2008 by Paul Tutka

Is this sh** scripted or somethin’? Seriously!!

I mean like, how the hell are Edmonton and Chicago beating (and by beating I mean putting them over their knees and spakin’ their cheeks to a shade darker than Steenhuis’ kicks) the likes of San Jose and Minnesota?

Everything that could go wrong for the teams that are favored is definitely goin’ a$$ backwards wrong for ‘em, while Cody Jacobs is shootin’ the friggin’ lights out and givin’ the bottom feeders hope?!?!? Weird, but then such is life in the NLL.

Anyways, onto the thumbs…

Thumbs Up

Cody Jacobs
Since I already dropped his name, he’ll be first in line for this week’s thumbs (aka the almighty first thumb… players say the first one is the one all the guys are shootin’ for these days, but I guess they’re only human, right). Jacobs had a career pro night against the Swarm and gutted them during a middle 30 minutes that saw Chicago suffocate Minny 9-0!!! And even though I gave him a thumb last week, gotta give Matt Roik another shout-out for another ridiculous start in the Rox’s cage. Probably the best lacrosse Roik’s played since his summer in 2002.

Edmonton
First I was just gonna give this out to Edmonton’s D for taking the Duracell’s outta San Jose’s offense, but they just looked so damn good all over the rug, I had to give every one of those beautiful SOB’s a good ol’ thumb. Spread out scoring, aggressive & mobile D and this 2008 Curtis Palidwor Version 2.0 is running a lot smoother than that 1.0 copy we saw earlier this year (it was like one of those AOL discs you found in every mag, mailbox and shirt pocket those mofo’s could get their hands in). Can this all be attributed to Bob Hamley? Is this dude a genius or God or some sorta lacrosse dreamweaver GM/Head Coach???

John Grant
Jr. is like the only guy that picked up any clutch points in The Money Ballers this week, which will be out mid-week. It seriously took me like two minutes to race through the games and Grant’s name was the only one poppin’ up on the radar. Anyways, even though the Rochester O as a whole is clickin’ like a pair of Danny Kaye’s clackers (specifically from that oldie but goodie, On the Riviera, also starring Gene Tierney and Corinne Calvet, but you probably already knew that), Jr. has stepped up huge and it seems like everything is droppin’ for him latley. Anyways, like I said about triple D the other week, big time ballers make sure they come up big in big games… so ditto for Grant in a trashing against the Wings who just got PWNED on Saturday (Note on vid: the dude that looks like the guy from Ladybugs that dressed in drag to meet some chick that absolutely sucked at footie is Rochester and the woman that looks like she coulda landed a gig on Designing Women if it was set in Hamilton, ON is Philly).

Thumbs Down

San Jose O
A week after everyone was goin’ Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffsover rooke Sean Morris and the rest of the SJ O, the unit noise dived against the Rush this past week, in one of the worst O showings of any team this year. I’m feelin’ kinda lazy so I might be wrong, but think only the Rock’s double 4 this year is lower than what the Stealth threw down in Edmonton. Two more showings like that in their home-and-home with Portland and those two teams will be knotted at 6-7!! Crazy, huh? Welcome to the NLL 2008.

Minny O
Gotta bag a bit on the blue and gold’s offense too. You don’t usually see a team concept O crash cuz, well, they rely on a ton of guys, but when they do end up crashing, you get the Minnesota Swarm in week 14. Two goose eggs during the second and third periods that allowed the usually anemic Chicago offense to bury their opposition ten feet under. Guys like Andy Secore and Craig Point couldn’t beat Matt Roik until a buck twenty in the last quarter, and even though the two finished with a combined hat trick, it took ‘em a 30 shots to get that done!! Not sure what time it woulda been during those middle periods, but maybe their O was just trying to reserve their energy levels for Earth Hour?

Geoff Snider & Shawn Evans
Hey, for anyone that knows me, you know there’s two things I can’t turn down… #1 a nice cold coke and #2 screaming like a girl in glee during a lax fight. What went down on Saturday night at the BCA wasn’t the kinda rough stuff I like all that much though (well I do, but I’m trying to be PC here folks). We’re seen too many tenders this year get sidelined from concussions, mainly due to getting run, so when Snider slam dunked Pat O’Toole’s melon into the back of the cage, which ultimately led to Shawn Evans doin’ the same to Brandon Miller, it wasm’t as badass as it looked (although still totally badass in the same breath). I’ll admit, I don’t know what was said on the turf and what the mindset of the guys at the time were, but gotta agree with my home slice Bob Chavez on this one… thumbs down to that kinda sh**. But Snider and Evy, still love ya guys (know you were just payin’ ‘em back Shawn, but gotta give you two a couple thumbs down, not that you care I’m sure).