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I was able to go check out the James Bay Athletic Association fight night last night. It consists of players from the association’s two different local rugby teams, the Premier Division team and the 1st division team in a tough-man competition of sorts.

It’s three, one-minute rounds and the fighters use 16-ounce gloves, head gear and mouth guards, of course. The fans have their favorites, cheer every big looping haymaker and boo any sort of pushing, holding or cowardice. The ring is made up of the fans sitting at ring side, so if you are one of those lucky people, don’t wear your Sunday best! Everyone has a great time and I was a virgin last night and was amazed at the 200-plus people who crammed every corner of the JBAA clubhouse.

All the proceeds go to help keep the club alive, and it got me to thinking. Wouldn’t it be great if we had our own version, an NLL tough-man competition with all the proceeds going to the Les Bartley Foundation and cancer research? So here is my fight card!

Now, I’m not going to make every fight an NLL heavyweight battle cause that’s not what it’s all about. It’s about marketability, it’s about showmanship, it’s about giving people what they want to see and most of all, it’s all for fun!

LET’S GET IT ON!

In the first match up, I’d like to start the show off with a light-hearted scrap between two goalies who have a bit of a history against each other, as their battle goes all the way back to 1997.

Matt Roik vs. Matt King: These two fought back in Junior during the Burnaby vs. Victoria battles and I know Roiker would like another shot at Kinger!

Next up, I’m going to throw in an All-American middle weight fight, which will be solely based on speed and quickness. Jarret Park vs. Josh Sims. Talked about being the two fastest kids in the game, it would be nice to see if their fists can move as fast as their feet can. I’m sure we’d have to find a way to keep Parks’ hair in check so he can’t use it as a weapon.

Now this one is pure comedy: the Malawsky Brothers! Now for those that don’t know these two as well as some of us, they both have a fierce fire burning inside that is unmatched, and when let go they are hard to control. I’m sure Mama Malawsky won’t be happy with it, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to see. I think we’d have to give Mouse (Curt) some extra head gear, cause if Derek gets a clean shot to Curt’s hood fan, his entire career could be over!

Now onto the matches the fans really want to see. In the just-get-it-over-with battle, NLL Commish Jim “11th hour” Jennings vs. Dave “there’s no way I’m agreeing to that” Succamore. A battle for the ages, yet it could help resolve a lot of issues for CBA talks in the up-coming years! I can imagine there will be no favorite in this one; the fans will just want to see blood!

Next up, two of the most passionate fans I know will throw on their most flamboyant face paint and we will see who has the most left at the end. K-Hawk Krew Founder, Knabber will take on long time Wings faithful fa, Chopper! Now, not many fans get under the players’ skin like Chop does so I’m sure the players will take a fancy to this tilt. P.S. Knabber, you can’t wear your Kermit slippers in the ring!

Finally, the Main Event. For months the web boards have lambasted these two for their opinions, shoddy judging tables, lack of lax knowledge and just pure hatred for two of the game’s most devoted writers. Paul “Twinkle Toes” Tutka goes mano y mano against Brian “my brother doesn’t know the price of gas” Shanahan! The ultimate in tough guy match ups and one that I’m sure fans will want to see to the death.

OK, maybe not death, but I’m sure nobody will tell Big John McCarthy to step in and stop the fight! I don’t see this being much more than your classic college dorm room slap fight.

So I know this is a little far-fetched, but let’s honest, at times the games get us all so amped up that we forget to take a step back, breathe and just realize that we are all here to have fun and play the game we love. I’m sure the boys would be up for something like this and it would be for a GREAT cause.So let me know who you fans think would win and what tough man match-ups you would like to see. Let’s be a little creative here, I don’t want to see a fight between the Buffalo fan in section 104 that got called a mean name by a Knighthawk fan at the BCA. These aren’t vendetta fights, these are fun fights that after all is said in done, the two combatants can hug, raise each other’s hand up, say “great fight” and then slug back a couple Steveweisers!

Jenner is a two-time Mann Cup champion with six years of NLL experience. Email him at ted.jenner@nllinsider.com also follow the Coquitlam Jr. A Adanacs and the Intermediate A Adanacs live, as Teddy brings you color commentary with Brad Challoner for the Jr's and play by play with Brody Allen for the Intermediates -- http://www.junioradanacs.com/multimedia.php

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